Oh Baby...Pocket ACE's

So there have been many things that I have done since becoming a father a little over two months ago that I never thought I would do:

• Sticking my finger in a diaper to check for poo

• Getting thrown up on by someone who was not drunk

• Willingly sitting in the last row at a Hofstra Basketball game to be far away from the noise and horns

• Strolling around the Sunrise Mall just for the sake of strolling around the Sunrise Mall

• Paying close to $40 for one, yes ONE, picture of my kid with Santa when I am the proud owner of both a camera and a big enough belly to impersonate Mr. Claus  

And then there was the tale of this morning, something happened today that I never thought would happen in my entire lifetime... I got to ACE Hardware on a Sunday morning before they were even open!  They open at 9 A.M.. Yet, there I was, sitting in the parking lot waiting in my car with all the other dads for them to open up shop.  For those without a calendar nearby, Sunday mornings come right after Saturday Nights.  There have been some Saturday Nights in my early 20's where I would bartend at Muls, go drink at the Inn, then head to the diner and not get home until 8 in the morning... Now I am up pacing around my house waiting for ACE to open its doors so I can get my day started.  Life changer!  And what's even more amazing to me then being there pre-nine o'clock is that I don't mind it one bit- I actually enjoy my trips to ACE. 

Before my wife and I bought a house in the summer of 2010, I probably had been inside an ACE store five times max in my whole life, and now there have been days when I have gone to ACE more than five times in one single day... It's both crazy and I love it!  I have even gone to two different ACE's within the same car trip and haven't complained once.  It used to be that the only time I liked seeing two ACE's together was when I was playing Texas Hold Em' - but no longer is that true.  POCKET ACES has a whole new meaning in my world.

Today, I also realized how good I am getting at navigating the aisles of ACE - just like how I had mastered the lines at All American (always go for the middle line, it looks packed but it's not, the middle line is always the way to go.) I can only imagine years from now going in to ACE, calling the employees by their first names, as I might have tools and small nails in my pockets, and they will probably call me "Boss" or "Chief" or "Big Joe" something cool like that, and I will use the lingo right back at them: Hey Carl, just pickin up a 52 inch for the quarter caper on the fluce net for my shed... Ok, so I don't have the logistics down yet, but someday I will.

And when that day comes, I will be in the parking lot, at 8:55 in the morning with the other dads,  a smile on my face, just waiting for those doors to open.

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO LUMPY