Ok so I've been reading a lot of kids books lately to Tommy and he's a huge fan of Dr. Suess - the rhymes, the crazy words, it's a lot of fun... OK so maybe it's daddy that likes reading Dr. Seuss ... you caught me, but if nobody has made a drinking game out of "Fox in Socks" than I will be the first one to do so... example - each time you mess up a word you drink: When beetles battle beetles in a puddle paddle battle and the beetle battle puddle is a puddle in a bottle (DRINK!) - I mean you will be totally Suessed at the end of the book...
But that is not why I blog. I blog tonight because the Cat in the Hat is a criminal and he needs to be arrested. Why is he such a famous character that we read to our children - I always knew about him but never really read the book til now. The Cat in the Hat breaks into a house where two young children are home alone (child protective services anyone, why is Sally and her brother left at home alone in the first place???) Anyway enter the Cat, wearing his red and white striped hat which makes him look like he's a convict, he completely wrecks the place, almost kills the family pet, he brakes their toy ship (that's property damage on top of the breaking and entering), then he brings in two deranged lunatics that he has kept in a box (KIDNAPPING ANYONE?)... Where did Thing One and Thing Two come from? An insane asylum? Is Sally and her brother about to become Thing 3 and 4? What kind of crazy sh*t is this Cat up to? The Cat has these two things brain washed into doing whatever he tells them to so then they start wrecking the place... If the mom never came home I am sure this could have turned into some real wrongdoings... And in the end, Yes somehow he did clean up the place, but that just sounds like B.S. - how could he have cleaned up all that mess that quick... I am guessing The Cat in the Hat drugged the kids and the mom and had his two "Things" clean up the mess (and all the fingerprints) before they went on their way and the drugs wore off...
So I ask what is the moral of this tale? What is the story supposed to teach our kids? I mean this is how the book ends: Then our mother came in and she said to us two, did you have any fun? Tell me - what did you do? And Sally and I did not know what to say, should we tell her the things that went on their that day? Should we tell her about it? Now what should we do? Well what would you do if your mother asked you?
YES! YOU TELL HER! What is wrong with these kids - some guy dressed up in a cat suit broke into your house and had two deranged midgets locked in a box, of course you tell her. On top of that someone needs to tell these kids that if a stranger comes to the door that they should say their Mommy is in the shower or something like that, they must have told the Cat in the Hat about 5 times that their Mommy was not home... And I am not even going to get into Daddy and how he is not mentioned once in this story - why is he out of the picture? Maybe if he didn't leave than Mommy wouldn't have to work so many jobs that she has to leave these poor kids home alone.
Well, that's it, Dr. Seuss, if you even really are a doctor - I do love your rhymes and the crazy words, and yes I will still read "Fox in Socks" but only for drinking game purposes... but you and I are done - I am moving on to Eric Carle and his hungry caterpillars - there has got to be a better message in there somewhere for my kid.
Thanks for reading... and Thanks for Listening to Lumpy!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
TOP 10 on 10 - TV SHOWS EDITION
So I decided on the 10th of each month I will make a TOP 10 list - Why? Because I love TOP 10 lists... For this first one I decided to go with my top 10 TV shows of all time. I surprised myself (not really) that I only have 3 reality shows on this list, plus I have 2 shows on the list that I never watched when they were on (thanks for DVD's) and only 4 of the shows are still on TV today... I left off some of my new obsessions (Yes Revenge that means you) as well as some of my faves as a 10 year old (sorry Wonder Years, Alf, Perfect Strangers, and Price is Right)
Please let me know what other TOP 10 Lists you would like to see in the future... but for now here are my TOP 10 TV Shows of All-Time (or the last 15 years)
10. Entourage - Not counting this last season, which was horrible, this was a very cool show - any guy who has a group of guy friends wanted to believe that they could be in this crew and hug it out with Ari. The finale made me not want to put this on my top 10 list - but it took the final spot.
9. Lost - I did not watch this show when it started - EVERYBODY watched this show, so I did not want to watch it - instead the wife and I zipped through all the seasons in about a couple of months, 5-6 episodes at a night, glued to the screen. Was it the fact that this was the first TV show Carroll Anne really enjoyed that made me want to keep watching? Was it Kate? Was it the smoke monster? I have no idea what it was, and I got no answers to any of the questions I wanted answered - but for some reason at the end of each episode, no matter how late it was at night, I needed to watch the next one. The characters were so interesting that it did not matter how little of the show I understood, I was invested in the people, so I guess you can say I got LOST in the characters, and just went along for the ride.
8. Sopranos - I came for the pasta, I stayed for the sauce. Tony reminded me of some of my uncles - Bada Bing!
7. Treasure Hunters - This show only lasted 3 months! One season! This could have been my favorite reality show of all time and that is saying something. This was like Amazing Race (more on this show in a bit) but better - yes I said it better. There were no clues, they would just drop you off in a giant room and you had to figure stuff out. Hmmmm.... maybe after 8 hours of searching under, behind, and around every object in the room I will breathe on this small mirror - oh wow there's the clue - WHAT? Yes, that is what it was like - so awesome. The finale of this show was the coolest thing ever - I want this show back on the air - if you know people, do something.
6. Modern Family - This is my favorite show right now and has shown no signs of slowing down. I go back and forth between Phil and Cam as my favorite character, but that is the only debate on this comedic winner. This is the type of show where you can watch an episode over and over again and it is still funny.
5. Friday Night Lights - This is the other gem of a show that I did not watch when it was on, big props to my mom for hooking me up with the complete DVD set and it has paid off big time. This show is so good that I only have one disc left to watch and I refuse to watch it because I don't want it to end. It reminds me of that year in 8th grade when I was on the B-Team offensive line, but in Texas, and better.
4. SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance) - Oh I went there - American Idol was my reality show/talent show top choice for years until I got into this one (another show my mom told me to watch.) They always say on the show when you take the right song, the right dancers, and the right choreographer and put it together, magic happens - well it does. Usually its when Travis Wall is choreographing a Howie Day/Coldplay song - but it does happen - and I love it. I love dancing! Or watching people dancing... wait I'm taping dancing, to watch again later (Brian Regan reference) - anyway this is the best of all the talent shows out there and I watch all of them so this makes my list.
3. Amazing Race - I have never missed an episode of this show, dating back to when I was in college, working on my own TV show there "Thursday Nite Live" - I would get home at like 4 in the morning and pop in the VHS that my parents recorded the show on for me (this was not that long ago) - Call it the traveler/dreamer in me - but if I could be on any show, this would be it - you get to travel around the world in a competition, it is simply amazing. My only fear of going on would be getting eliminated right away, that and maybe having to bungee jump.
2. Seinfeld - This was the first sitcom that I got into that really made me laugh, not always laugh out loud, but just one long continuous laugh that was more of a smile. I really think that this show about nothing paved the way for all my other favorite shows about nothing (Parks and Rec/ The Office/ Modern Family) - I am a huge fan of witty dialogue, I don't need a big elaborate story or crazy music, or special effects - I just want 4 people sitting in an apartment or a diner shooting the sh*t - talking like people talk. This show did that and more - the way this show would tie stories together was unbelievable, I mean is "anyone here a marine biologist?" - Classic.
1. The Office - The only reason why this gets my #1 over Seinfeld is because of Michael Scott and the fact that I have the first 3 season's DVD's to remind me of how great this show was up until this season. This was just like Seinfeld, a show about nothing, but instead of in an apartment it took place in an apartment - only difference is I do not just long laugh and smile during this show - I laugh out loud, near tears, the funniest moment in any TV show I have ever seen took place on a Christmas episode when Meredith flashes Michael. The look on his face and then he snaps a photo, I mean I probably watched that part 100 times, it is so funny. If the show continues the way it's going, Seinfeld might move up to #1 - but then again I can just pop in the DVD and be reminded of the good ole days.
*** Hope you enjoyed the TOP 10 on 10 - I would love to hear your feedback on how great/awful my selections are - and let me know what I left out.
Thanks for Listening to Lumpy
Please let me know what other TOP 10 Lists you would like to see in the future... but for now here are my TOP 10 TV Shows of All-Time (or the last 15 years)
10. Entourage - Not counting this last season, which was horrible, this was a very cool show - any guy who has a group of guy friends wanted to believe that they could be in this crew and hug it out with Ari. The finale made me not want to put this on my top 10 list - but it took the final spot.
9. Lost - I did not watch this show when it started - EVERYBODY watched this show, so I did not want to watch it - instead the wife and I zipped through all the seasons in about a couple of months, 5-6 episodes at a night, glued to the screen. Was it the fact that this was the first TV show Carroll Anne really enjoyed that made me want to keep watching? Was it Kate? Was it the smoke monster? I have no idea what it was, and I got no answers to any of the questions I wanted answered - but for some reason at the end of each episode, no matter how late it was at night, I needed to watch the next one. The characters were so interesting that it did not matter how little of the show I understood, I was invested in the people, so I guess you can say I got LOST in the characters, and just went along for the ride.
8. Sopranos - I came for the pasta, I stayed for the sauce. Tony reminded me of some of my uncles - Bada Bing!
7. Treasure Hunters - This show only lasted 3 months! One season! This could have been my favorite reality show of all time and that is saying something. This was like Amazing Race (more on this show in a bit) but better - yes I said it better. There were no clues, they would just drop you off in a giant room and you had to figure stuff out. Hmmmm.... maybe after 8 hours of searching under, behind, and around every object in the room I will breathe on this small mirror - oh wow there's the clue - WHAT? Yes, that is what it was like - so awesome. The finale of this show was the coolest thing ever - I want this show back on the air - if you know people, do something.
6. Modern Family - This is my favorite show right now and has shown no signs of slowing down. I go back and forth between Phil and Cam as my favorite character, but that is the only debate on this comedic winner. This is the type of show where you can watch an episode over and over again and it is still funny.
5. Friday Night Lights - This is the other gem of a show that I did not watch when it was on, big props to my mom for hooking me up with the complete DVD set and it has paid off big time. This show is so good that I only have one disc left to watch and I refuse to watch it because I don't want it to end. It reminds me of that year in 8th grade when I was on the B-Team offensive line, but in Texas, and better.
4. SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance) - Oh I went there - American Idol was my reality show/talent show top choice for years until I got into this one (another show my mom told me to watch.) They always say on the show when you take the right song, the right dancers, and the right choreographer and put it together, magic happens - well it does. Usually its when Travis Wall is choreographing a Howie Day/Coldplay song - but it does happen - and I love it. I love dancing! Or watching people dancing... wait I'm taping dancing, to watch again later (Brian Regan reference) - anyway this is the best of all the talent shows out there and I watch all of them so this makes my list.
3. Amazing Race - I have never missed an episode of this show, dating back to when I was in college, working on my own TV show there "Thursday Nite Live" - I would get home at like 4 in the morning and pop in the VHS that my parents recorded the show on for me (this was not that long ago) - Call it the traveler/dreamer in me - but if I could be on any show, this would be it - you get to travel around the world in a competition, it is simply amazing. My only fear of going on would be getting eliminated right away, that and maybe having to bungee jump.
2. Seinfeld - This was the first sitcom that I got into that really made me laugh, not always laugh out loud, but just one long continuous laugh that was more of a smile. I really think that this show about nothing paved the way for all my other favorite shows about nothing (Parks and Rec/ The Office/ Modern Family) - I am a huge fan of witty dialogue, I don't need a big elaborate story or crazy music, or special effects - I just want 4 people sitting in an apartment or a diner shooting the sh*t - talking like people talk. This show did that and more - the way this show would tie stories together was unbelievable, I mean is "anyone here a marine biologist?" - Classic.
1. The Office - The only reason why this gets my #1 over Seinfeld is because of Michael Scott and the fact that I have the first 3 season's DVD's to remind me of how great this show was up until this season. This was just like Seinfeld, a show about nothing, but instead of in an apartment it took place in an apartment - only difference is I do not just long laugh and smile during this show - I laugh out loud, near tears, the funniest moment in any TV show I have ever seen took place on a Christmas episode when Meredith flashes Michael. The look on his face and then he snaps a photo, I mean I probably watched that part 100 times, it is so funny. If the show continues the way it's going, Seinfeld might move up to #1 - but then again I can just pop in the DVD and be reminded of the good ole days.
*** Hope you enjoyed the TOP 10 on 10 - I would love to hear your feedback on how great/awful my selections are - and let me know what I left out.
Thanks for Listening to Lumpy
Friday, January 6, 2012
Let's go for a Walk Man.
Is 31 old? Here is the scenario - I start every class with a trivia question for my students each day, something to get them excited about being in math class, and the answer is always a number so that it is relevant to the subject that I teach. Today's question - What year was the Sony Walkman invented?
Here is the student's reply - What is a walkman?
Oh man, I am old, students today do not have a clue what this device is and why we would ever have to use it... Worse, the teacher I work with, a half a decade younger than I, responded - It played CD's... err wrong - that was a Discman, early 20's people - us 30 year olds first had a thing called a Walkman, it played cassettes, it was amazing, and it came out pre-Discman... Try explaining a cassette to a 15-year old, it's awesome- it will probably be like me trying to explain a CD to my son in 10 years.
But then it continued to get worse... the answer to the trivia question... 1980! That was the year I was born. Something the same age as me, is irrelevant - that is scary.
I discussed this issue with my friend Sean over a few drinks on a Friday evening, not night, evening, before heading home before 10 p.m. - yes another sign of getting old... and we talked about the stereo systems our fathers had, that would take up an entire wall unit, be connected through dozens of wires, to two giant speakers. Now kids wear a clip the size of a pinky on their pocket and listen to whatever song they want with the touch of a finger, through big giant purple headphones. What the heck is going on? How did this all happen so fast.
31 is not that old - the world is just moving too fast - I mean I got upset the other day when I was watching a football game in my basement and it wasn't in HD? Who am I? I used to have a TV in my basement with a huge seat shaped thing that came out in the front with red, yellow, and green lights that shined off a mirror and onto the TV screen - and I was fine with that, now I complain that my eyes hurt, its not in HD, waaah.
So my students don't know what a Walkman is, big deal, they can just google it and find out from wikipedia that it is a device that played audio cassettes, and since the word cassettes is in blue they can than click on that since they have no idea what that is and find out that a cassette is a magnetic tape sound recording format popular in the 1970's and if that doesn't satisfy their search they can click on magnetic tape and discover that it was created in Germany and used to record and play back audio... I mean that took me all of 5 seconds.
Life is fast, people are running from place to place, everything moves so quick - I suggest we all relax and just go for a Walk Man.
Thanks for Listening to Lumpy
Here is the student's reply - What is a walkman?
Oh man, I am old, students today do not have a clue what this device is and why we would ever have to use it... Worse, the teacher I work with, a half a decade younger than I, responded - It played CD's... err wrong - that was a Discman, early 20's people - us 30 year olds first had a thing called a Walkman, it played cassettes, it was amazing, and it came out pre-Discman... Try explaining a cassette to a 15-year old, it's awesome- it will probably be like me trying to explain a CD to my son in 10 years.
But then it continued to get worse... the answer to the trivia question... 1980! That was the year I was born. Something the same age as me, is irrelevant - that is scary.
I discussed this issue with my friend Sean over a few drinks on a Friday evening, not night, evening, before heading home before 10 p.m. - yes another sign of getting old... and we talked about the stereo systems our fathers had, that would take up an entire wall unit, be connected through dozens of wires, to two giant speakers. Now kids wear a clip the size of a pinky on their pocket and listen to whatever song they want with the touch of a finger, through big giant purple headphones. What the heck is going on? How did this all happen so fast.
31 is not that old - the world is just moving too fast - I mean I got upset the other day when I was watching a football game in my basement and it wasn't in HD? Who am I? I used to have a TV in my basement with a huge seat shaped thing that came out in the front with red, yellow, and green lights that shined off a mirror and onto the TV screen - and I was fine with that, now I complain that my eyes hurt, its not in HD, waaah.
So my students don't know what a Walkman is, big deal, they can just google it and find out from wikipedia that it is a device that played audio cassettes, and since the word cassettes is in blue they can than click on that since they have no idea what that is and find out that a cassette is a magnetic tape sound recording format popular in the 1970's and if that doesn't satisfy their search they can click on magnetic tape and discover that it was created in Germany and used to record and play back audio... I mean that took me all of 5 seconds.
Life is fast, people are running from place to place, everything moves so quick - I suggest we all relax and just go for a Walk Man.
Thanks for Listening to Lumpy
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